John R. Cook, Ph.D.
Registered Psychologist

In the article Paying the Price of Work-Related Stress After You Retire, we looked at how work-related stress can spoil our plans for a satisfying and rewarding retirement. We learned that we can do something about it by taking an inventory of our stress symptoms, and by identifying the sources of stress in our lives. In this issue we will be looking at three basic strategies for dealing with external and internal sources of stress: altering, avoiding, or accepting.

First, ask yourself the questions, "Am I hooked on stress?" or "Do I have to suffer to feel alive?" If you answered "yes" to either of these questions, you are part of a growing modern day phenomenon of stress addiction, and may not be ready to work at breaking free. On the other hand, if you are in enough pain (from stress), the prospect of change may seem worth the effort.

Altering. The strategy of altering situations is perhaps easiest to implement with our physical environments. We can change the climate control, reorganize objects, or even redecorate our space to make it less stressful and more comfortable.

Altering situations is generally more difficult when it comes to interpersonal relations. We tend to overestimate our ability to control and be controlled by people, and communicate, using either overly aggressive or overly passive behaviour. Instead, we should be communicating our needs clearly and assertively. Remember, no one can make anybody do (or feel) anything if they don't want to. Some examples of altering strategies include: time management, money management, increasing physical contact with others, finding creative outlets, exercise and diet.

Avoiding. The strategy of avoiding stressful situations often gets a bad rap by being associated with cowardice and lack of conviction. There are times when it isn't worth your while tackling a situation head-on. These times include situations that are short-term, if you haven't the resources to deal with it effectively, or if you haven't yet made up your mind how to deal with it. Avoidance strategies involve setting stress-resistant boundaries. These boundaries allow you to achieve physical separation and/or psychological distance from stressful people, places and things.

Accepting. Finally, there are times when we can neither alter nor avoid the stressful situation. At these times our best strategy is to accept things as they are. Sometimes this involves taking personal responsibility for making the best out of a bad situation.

Accepting strategies involve letting go of what isn't in our control, and managing our internal world through relaxation techniques such as deep muscle relaxation, diaphragmatic breathing, self-hypnosis and the manipulation of subtle energies through acupressure. Relaxation CDs and audiocassettes employing these techniques are available for purchase at http://www.FeelBetterSolutions.com.

Try to be flexible in your implementation of these strategies. Switch freely among them as situations change and/or you experience fluctuations in your resources for coping.