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| Pulling it ALL Together with Spirituality |
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John R. Cook, Ph.D.
Registered Psychologist
| We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin |
It seems as though stress and anxiety are endemic to our society as we have ever increasing numbers of things to worry about, ranging from getting along peaceably with one another to dealing with global warming. At the start of a series of articles on coping with anxiety, I touted cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) as the solution to our problems. Now I'm going to ask the unthinkable (for a cognitive behaviour therapist); what if CBT isn't enough? You are thinking medication, right? Wrong!
I believe one of the most profound and meaningful lessons a person can learn in life is that they are not alone. Not only are we all as humans connected in ways we are just beginning to comprehend, but there is a perpetual, everlasting force or energy that coexists with us for which we have several different names. As a Christian, I call this force God, and I believe it is made up of the Word as embodied in Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the heavenly Father. I use my religion to engage this force in a way that is culturally meaningful for me. People from other cultures and other walks of life use other ways of relating, not always through organized religion.
The key concept is that we're meant to discover our path in life by being open to the influence of this divine force in our lives. It is as though we are all passengers on a bus. Some of us ride in first class, and some in coach. The point is, we're all passengers, none of us has a hold on the steering wheel, although the passengers in first class do have toy steering wheels to help create the illusion of control. Lucky for us the bus driver is a very wise and benevolent being, and knows where we need to go.
As anxious people, we crave control like an addiction. We like to have all our ducks in a row, eliminate the unknowns, and especially, reduce the potential for things to go "wrong". Life becomes labourious, and as we try to prepare for every contingency, and drive our lives in the direction we think they should be heading. After all, anything worth doing is worth doing right, and if you really want something badly enough, you just have to work really hard, and it will happen. Right? Wrong again!
You can relax your grasp on the toy steering wheel in front of you. Yanking on it won't change your course substantially, nor will it get you there any faster! Talk to the bus driver, become really good friends. Take your cues from him/her. He/she really does have your best interests at heart. Relax and enjoy the trip. Your job is simply to show up for life every day, and pin the tail on the donkey. The cues are "warmer" when you are getting closer, and "colder" when you are getting farther away from the target. The instructions are simple: Approach on "warmer" and retreat on "colder".
You'll know when you're on the right track; you'll get an incredible amount done with a remarkably small expenditure of energy. Draw on your divine power for both energy and guidance. A good place to start is your favourite place of worship, whether that's a church, temple or a tiny clearing in the woods.
Dr. Cook is a registered clinical psychologist in the Province of British Columbia (registration #1025), and founder of Aegis Psychological Services Inc.. His speciality is helping people with stress and anxiety-related conditions, including job-related and post-traumatic stress.
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